Memorial Day

April 23, 2007

During the Lebanon war, I visited some injured soldiers in hospitals across Israel.  This video shows the stories of some really amazing heroes.

All the soldiers that sacrificed themselves to defend Israel should always be remembered.

Did you say Un-Alphabet?

April 18, 2007

A friend and I were talking (in Hebrew) when I heard him say “alphabet” in a sentence. Yeah, the English word “alphabet” … pronounced “alphabet” … just likeUn-Alphabet we say it in English.

I said … “Alphabet?”

And he said … “No, Un-Alphabet”.

So I said … “What the crap is an Un-Alphabet?”

In case you were wondering, the word אלפבית (alphabet) in Hebrew has no meaning, but the word אנאלפבית (pronounced Un-alphabet) means illiterate. I’ve asked some friends how you say “literate,” and they told me there is no word for “literate.” I looked it up in the dictionary, and apparently they’re right…there is no word for “literate.” If you look up the word “literate” in the dictionary, it’s the same word for “learned” (Melumad) which generally refers to biblical learning.

Some other funny nouns …

Narcoman – Is not an Israeli super hero with special Narc powers. It’s a drug addict.

Alcoholist – Is not a scholar who majored in Alcohol (chemist, biologist, physicist, psychologist, etc.). It’s an alcoholic.

Fire-o-man – Is not a fireman. It’s a pyromaniac. I think us anglos screwed this one up. In Hebrew, a fireman is a (mechabeh esh … a fire putter outer). Our firemen should be called Fire-putter-outers, but that just sucks to say.

Never Forget

April 16, 2007

We like to poke fun at the entertaining things in Israel, but it’s times like these that make me proud to be here. Every year the country comes together to practice a moment of silence in remembrance of the Holocaust victims. A siren is heard throughout the country where everyone stands at attention to honor those fallen in the Holocaust. The video is a clip of a busy Tel Aviv street during the siren. Even drivers exit their cars and stand at attention to respect the victims of the Holocaust.

May the victims and survivors of the Holocaust never be forgotten.

THAT’S where you can buy them!

April 15, 2007

In case you were looking for homos…they can be purchased at this kiosk in Jerusalem.

You know…Felafel, shawerma…and homos.

homos for sale

I hear they go great with pita.

If you’re looking for HUMMUS though…you gotta find another kiosk.

*Shout out to my favorite fellow prairie dog lover for the photo credit.

The funniest sign in Israel

April 13, 2007

In case you were wondering, this sign means…

“We don’t know what the f*ck is that way.”

What the f*ck is that way


Someone thought it was important to let drivers know.


Would you like some foul Hummus with your souda?

April 12, 2007

Menus are funny in Israel. They can translate almost anything into crappy misspelled English words. I say almost anything because some words don’t have Translations. Words like Nana, which is a plant very similar to what we Anglos call mint. The only difference is that this mint is spelled N-A-N-A in English.

This is how our waiter actually presented the specials to us …

Spellcheck this menu please

Our Shishlik Chickens’ comes highly recommended.

Our hummus comes in two flavors, foul and mashroms.

How about some candy after your meal?

And for today only, behind door number 2, we have “deal of salads.”

If you’re gonna type it, you might as well spell check it.
Hell, we’ll do it for free for ya…just post your menu on Zabaj.

*Click on thumbnail for full-sized image.

Israelis. Wine. New York. Passover.

April 12, 2007

WineComing to you live from New York with an on-the-scene Zabaj exclusive…

If you know anything about Israelis and alcohol you know the two don’t really go together. Although Israelis love going out late and partying to “black music” (that’s how hip-hop is called in Hebrew) they don’t really drink much alcohol. Israelis don’t know how to drink and don’t like drinking. Their idea of drinking is to go out with a big group, share a single Bacardi Breezer (or Smirnoff Ice) and drink from it out of a straw. They usually just make it through half the bottle and take the rest as a “take away” order.

Armed with this knowledge I had a funny experience in New York right as Passover came to an end. Having gone out for dinner to a nice Italian restaurant, I was seated next to two Israeli girls. When they finished eating and flirting with the waiter they left… and left on the table two full glasses of wine. It wouldn’t be so funny if it wasn’t so typical, and sad.