Addicted to spell check

December 30, 2007

What’s wrong with this picture? Were they drunk when they designed the sign? Probably not…they were probably just too lazy to use spell check before spending all that money on getting a big ass sign made.

Smith Bar

I know last time I checked…alcohol was spelled with ONE “h” and it isn’t located after the “c.” How did NO ONE catch that? Way to go, Smith Bar!

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What’s in a name?

December 26, 2007

I don’t know about you…but I know that if I had a really fancy store that sold home decor in a really trendy area in Tel Aviv, I would DEFINITELY call it “Items.” Because you know…we sell items.

Items_Bazel

Thanks for the Advice

December 26, 2007

 ist2_766259_trashy_trailer2.jpg

Y’ever notice how (who am I, Andy Rooney here?) Israelis tend to answer requests for advice with absolutely ridiculous non-sequitur suggestions?  It’s as if they decide to forget everything they know about the person and his situation and jump straight to advice based on who they are and what situation they’re in?  Okay, even *I’m* not following at this point, so, an example:

Jook: I’m looking to rent a house, somewhere in Hod HaSharon, my budget is approx. $1000/mo, I’m looking for something small but nice, maybe around 150 square meters…

Israeli Advice Giver: Why don’t you rent a trailer in somebody’s backyard?

Yeah.  So, for those that don’t think this is ridiculous, let me do a little recreation here, but let’s pretend I want an iPod instead of a house:

Jook: I want that new 16 gig iPod touch, it’s really cool.

Israeli Advice Giver: Why don’t you make a guitar out of a 1 x 4, rubber bands, and thumbtacks?

I mean, really? A trailer.  And this suggestion came from several people. Who am I,  Jethro from The Beverly Hillbillies?  No, I’m a 27-year old bachelor internet executive who’s gonna go live in a trailer.  Thanks, man.  I’m not looking for professional advice here, but is it too much to ask that they have the attention span to pay attention to the part where I describe what I’m looking for?  Just askin’ if you heard anything ’bout a house for rent, that’s all…Not that the trailer thing is so frowned upon around here, apparently.  Successful, self-sufficient salaried guys are going out and renting trailers.  I even have a friend whose friend built a tent in his parents’ backyard (and no he wasn’t Billy Madison) What’s with the infantilism?  Maybe it’s cultural (and maybe I’m imposing my values a little bit here), but does it seem to anyone else that Israeli men sometimes live in a suspended state of adolescence until they get married?  “Aw man, that Jook, king in the castle, with his SOLID WALLS and all…”

Maybe I should just go live in a treehouse for chrissake and instead of a phone, I’ll bring back the Campbell’s soup cans with the fishing wire between them and communicate that way.  Then I’ll put up a sign that says “NO GIRLZ ALLOWD” until the tomboy down the street works her way into my heart and I experience my first tryst with summertime love and permaturely ejaculate into my light blue Ocean Pacific shorts that one time in my uncle’s basement in 1991.  Huh? Right. House.

Lemme know if anyone hears of anything for rent!


It’s Making the Fashions, Part III

December 25, 2007

Can it be? Are Israelis actually fashionable?

STREET CLASH is an international style competition between blogs & photographers around the world. At the end, one city will be named best dressed 2007.”

I think we’re all stunned to find that Israeli street fashion blog ILook won! Christmas is indeed the time for miracles.

Thanks to Designist Dream for the heads up.


Spoling Israeli Sex Masage, special for you

December 13, 2007

I don’t think too many words are needed to introduce you, our upstanding reader, to the Israeli sex/massage card industry.

You can either go for a “spoling massage” with sexy anime characters or listen as a sexy Israeli girl asks you to “come tave my tower out.”

Spoling

Tower Out


It’s Making the Fashions, Part II

December 10, 2007

Thanks to Designist Dream for a great link to an insanely out-of-touch article on Ha’Aretz.com today, titled How We Dress.

Apparently, the aging newspaper, while staying away from the yellow journalism of other Israeli papers, is nevertheless trying to exhibit more “inioot” (that is, the quality of being “in” in Israeli, pronouned “in-ee-yoot“). As a result, they interviewed a guy on the street who was dressed rather strangely. See, they’re trying to keep up with fashion trends. Get it?

There are only two problems: the interview itself is extremely boring and they didn’t even include a picture of the guy!!


It’s Making the Fashions

December 3, 2007

Here is a typical Israeli line of thinking:

  1. Trick people.
  2. If caught, try again to trick people.
  3. If sued, admit you were tricking people.
  4. Continue tricking people.

This lesson comes to us in the form of Israeli fashion house Versace. Yes, I said “Israel fashion house” because the many Versace stores you see around Israel have absolutely no connection to the famous Italian fashion house that also happens to be called Versace.

I know what you’re thinking – “but its the same name?!” Yes, that’s true. You might even say – “but wait a second, isn’t that going to confuse people?” Yes, that’s the plan.

See number one above for the answer to this mystery.

The kicker to this little story is the sign posted at all “Israeli Versace” stores, as well as in the footer of their website:

Versace closeup

The sign says: “This store is not connected in any way with the Italian Fashion house Gianni Versace S.P.A and the products on display for sale within are not produced by the Italian fashion house mentioned above.”

Wonderful!

Here’s a picture of a typical “Israeli Versace” store:

Versace Israel